My name is Bridget I have no redeemable qualities I love fruity pebbles and Max Bemis

 

Anonymous asked
You are so fucking beautiful

comeoutofthewoodwork:

“I don’t care that you have a dick-a gap between your teeth” What? 

OH MY GOD WHAT

(Source: dirtytaylorswift)

since when did red hair=mermaid like yeah i know ariel had red hair but she was white too does that mean being white makes you a mermaid yeah didnt think so you know who else had red hair lucille ball okay shes rad why do you gatta pretend youre a fish lady i mean really what do you expect- to spend 20 dollars and an hour and a half of your time to match ariels hair color and suddenly to become overwhelmed with the spirit of the sea “YEAH. IM A FREAKIN MERMAID. IM GONNA GO SMOKE SOME seaWEED AND SNORT SOME OYSTER WITH TRITON.” okay do you really think you, a teenage girl, are entitled to have anything to do with triton? that is a privilege to be earned okay so you just go find your little rasta crab and your sexually questioning fish and find a fork and comb your artificially colored weave with it cause you aint steppin near no king and dont even try running naked on the beach looking for your prince eric cause you finna end up in handcuffs cause streaking is illegal in this state. you know what happened to ariel in the actual story? she die. you want die?

bombing:

so someone left this perfectly good apple at the train station today. i waited about three hours but nobody came to pick it up and i couldn’t let it go to waste so i decided to take it for myself. while i was walking home with it i realized that this was a perfect opportunity to do another one of my famous giveaways. that’s right i’m giving away this perfectly good apple.
the rules are:
must be following me 
i want notes so likes and reblogs count. reblog it like 40 times i don’t care. make three separate accounts and reblog it 40 times on each one 
i am not responsible for the condition of the apple after i ship it
i will choose the winner sometime. good luck and have fun

bombing:

so someone left this perfectly good apple at the train station today. i waited about three hours but nobody came to pick it up and i couldn’t let it go to waste so i decided to take it for myself. while i was walking home with it i realized that this was a perfect opportunity to do another one of my famous giveaways. that’s right i’m giving away this perfectly good apple.

the rules are:

  1. must be following me 
  2. i want notes so likes and reblogs count. reblog it like 40 times i don’t care. make three separate accounts and reblog it 40 times on each one 
  3. i am not responsible for the condition of the apple after i ship it

i will choose the winner sometime. good luck and have fun

crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

z-co:

one of my coworkers got a call (i work in a call center/tech support) from a customer that was really scared because supposedly the mafia was hacking her computer and they were stalking her…when finally my coworker took remote control of the computer he couldn’t stop laughing because

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